Quick and Simple Tutorial Time!
GLAM SHOT:
Hey Pookies!
Y'all this is so effing long, like 33 minutes plus, so break up the time . Or just skip through it all. I was seeing how and what it would be like to do a makeup tutorial of my everyday shiz, but clearly I need to work on my skillz. Wowee. [It would help, too, to not chase the dog for 15 minutes...)
Seriously! It is kind of nice to come back and see that I still have ppl who didn't delete me from their google readers! Yay! Haha, I think I got a lil cocky thinking that I would get some hater comments. You gotta be a BIG. HUGE. [GIRTH.] of a deal to get those types of comments. Phew! That was a close one y'all. ;)
Sunday, ten.thirty in the morning.
Everything about the world right now frightens me. Everything threatens me and I don't know how to get away. Where do I go? What do I do? Standing in the middle of my room, feeling as if I am being held under water, unable to breathe, my throat in a choke-hold and no where to go. Two roles: The slave driver and the slave.
"Julzy, Jen's home." My mom mentions through my bedroom door.
"Uh huh," I manage to spew out something other than a cry. My chest so tight, my hands, shaking. My legs weak. I. am. afraid. to. move.
"Any reason you haven't seen her? All of your friends are home."
Any reason?
"No," and that's it. There's nothing else to say, no one understand me, I have nothing, no one, but me and my sea of hatred that keeps me from reblooming after losing her three months ago. Dried up, dying of thirst, the sun runs away from me. How cold the world feels without it.
_______
"You were trapped." Jamie. Jamie, Jamie, Jamie. Her Majesty, Jamie. The Divine.
"That was it. I was buried in my own fleshy tomb, suffocating. Totally and utterly trapped." I whisper.
I feel Amy's eyes on me, her comfort calming my heart, as it always does.
______
"Do you want to come with me to get my nails done, Booboo?" Mom wants to help me. I know she wants to more than anything. But everyone knows I'm stuck inside the world of unforgiving failures, and still no one will say anything. Why is everyone so afraid of me... I'm sorry, Please Forgive Me.
"No," I act like I don't care. But I do. More than anything and I can't go with you, Mom. "No." As if she is surprised. I love her more than anything, and wish I could spend my every second with her, but she is above me. Mom, I love you, but you are above me. I feel undeserving of time spent with you. Do you know this?
***Vibration***
AMY PEARL STONE: "Don't worry. We will take you away from here."
I tell her I trust her, I trust Jamie. I do. With my entire life. I put myself in their hands and feel safe. Safer in theirs than in my own. He can't touch us when we're together. TIme stands still and in an instant I stop shivering.
Driving on the highway, I see a sign for my exit. Finally. 2.5 MILES. And then I think of Jilli. In a battlefield of angst and chaos I reach for my phone and text Jill. I text her all the time. "I MISS YOU. EVERY DAY." And I am discouraged. Everyday I miss her more than the last. "When will it get easier?" Now I'm crying and my chest is drowning again. FUCK I missed my exit. I gather my composure, 'suck it up, don't embarrass me,' my thoughts are cruel and I'm tired after too many sleepless nights.
"I missed my Exit, Ames," I called her immediately. I had to get away from myself.
"Okay, where are you Julz?"
"I don't know... I missed my Exit for 95N." I don't know where I am, but amazingly I'm no longer lost. I'm found and need not utter a worry. 25 minutes away from the Stones, now, but Amy knows. She senses and she knows. "I'm going to stay on until you get to my house. I'm not going anywhere," she tells me. And she does. And I'm totally and completely safe, and for the first time in a long time, I feel loved and cradled with a shelter to protect me, and no one can touch me. I'm home.
Sitting in a coffee shop, on South Street, my worries are nonexistent, out of mind, and I feel the floor underneath my feet and IT. FEELS. AMAZING. Sitting, taking each other in, I look at Amy and Jamie: Queens. I get chills thinking of the two before me. And I laugh at how lame I am, in this very moment. I. Have. Found. Them.
Finally.
The hours spent walking the streets of Philadelphia. PEACE. It's suddenly springtime and the flowers are blooming and the sun, yes the sun, is FINALLY shining. As we leave the city streets, the three of us, in Brooke's Audi, completely united in thought, though silent in sound. There. Is. So. Much. Love.
"I was thinking about something..." Breaking the silence, my words spilling out of me, as I smile, for the first time in a LONG time. "I have been doubting the existence of a higher power, for so long now... But after today, I just know. Someone's gotta be up there..."
I slept really well last night.
Be jeal. it's 6:21am amy and i are chatting our little hearts out STILL. That is all. <333 And we're sobes. Duh.
Thirsty Thursday is here! (J/K, I don't really drink, but BRING 0N THE VAMPIRE BLOOD! (Who watches True Blood ? Anyone? That show is scary as $%*#.) And while I'm on the subject of amazing shows, IS ANYONE ELSE OBSESSED WITH THE BRILLIANCE THAT IS SUMMER HEIGHTS HIGH ? OH MY GAWD. I DIE, Y'ALL!)
*** And if you don't watch it, GO TO THAT LINK RIGHT AFTER YOU READ THIS POST (ha) AND WATCH THE CLIP AND READ ABOUT THE CAST. You will be blown away.***
"Public School is so Random." - Ja'mie
"Welcome to Mr. G's room, G's room, G's room, Welcome to Mr. G's room, Come Inside." - Mr. G
(That's all I'm gonna say... And I may be randomly inserting lines on my posts... Just to entertain myself brighten you're day, of course.)
OKAY, now onto my product reveal. The FIRST is one that I use ALL THE TIME. It is a so-called "Weight Management" Vitamin, but I have never used it for that purpose, and I guarantee you, it won't do shit to your weight. PLZ. That's such Bullsh. Anyways, I use it as a Thickening Agent, be it for Oatbran, Cheesecake like Greek Yo (yes it can be SO much thicker!!!), Sauces, thickening up plain yogurt, smoothies, etc... The possibilities are endless. (But I'm SO sorry Veg*ns, this product does contain Gelatin... Sorry!!!)
And... ***DRUMROLL PLIZZLE***
They come in little capsules, which you empty into whatever you are using it with.
Supplement Facts | ||
Serving Size 3 | ||
Servings Per Container 33 | ||
 | ||
Amount Per Serving | % Daily Value | |
| ||
Calories | 10 | N/A* |
| ||
Total Carbohydrate | 2 Gm | 1% |
| ||
Dietary Fiber | 1.5 Gm | 6% |
| ||
Glucomannan (AMORPHOPHALLUS KONJAC)(TUBER) | 1.99 Gm | N/A* |
| ||
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Lokah Samastah Sukhino Bhavanthu, "May All Beings, Everywhere, Be Blessed with Happiness."
Namaste,
Julzie
Y'all... Your comments from my last post were EFFING UNREAL. There is no other way to put it. They were so PERFECT, each and every one, and I feel so honored that anyone reads my blog, let alone THE SWEETEST LIL LOVERBUNNIES, EVER! I have felt every single prayer, thought, wish, *hug,* and blessing. I don't know what the hell I was thinking staying away from this community. But I feel so blessed to be a part of it again, and I thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for welcoming me back with such warmth and such grace.
I am taking each and every day, one at a time, to keep my face in the direction of the horizon. Yes, that IS a choice. Yes, that IS a choice. Yes, that IS a choice. And one that I have decided to take on FULL-SPEED. Even if I have to take it hour by hour, minute by minute, second by second, in the words of the BLOGGAH,
WHATEVA, I DO WHAT I WANT.
Now... Here's what I want from y'all. And get ready for some OVERKILL ON THE WORD FRONT: I want to know what you want from yo homegirl, S+D (not to be confused with the so ovah sugar-sub S+L). What do you want to see on my blizzlegizz (ew.)? Recipes? Grocery Pics? Animal Pics? Hawaii stories/pics? Product Reviews (I have so many secret faves, y'all... Well, not anymore I guess...)? Yoga talk? Buddha talk? Booty talk? Let me hear it! I want my blog to satisfy ALL Y'ALL PIMPS N HOES!
***Please note: I really have no interest and am not comfortable with making this a FOOD-DIARY-BLOG, though let's be REAL, it's SO MUCH FUN to read them!!! Come on... Who popped their cherry with Eat Like Me ??? ANYWAYS, I'm sorry if you want that. But I'm just not at that level yet. Who knows, perhaps someday I will be, but for now... That'll be a negative. Thanks ferplayin.***
I'm off to hit up some SUPER GIANT for some SUPER GROCERIES! I hear y'all on the Whole Foods front, but I must admit: Any type of drug emporium Food store is cool with me! I love them all and have found the BEST products at every one. I love the diversity of each of the chains, and seriously, little health food stores? I LURRRVE. {purrrr.}
So until we meet again, my pearls, here are some pictures of my PARADISE... The Magical Island of Kona (The Big Island) of Hawaii:
Lokah Samastah Sukhino Bhavanthu, "May All Beings, Everywhere, Be Blessed with Happiness."
Namaste,
Julzie
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